The Kingston 30

Last month, I ended my first Whole30, where I followed the guidelines from fitness gurus and authors of the book It Starts With Food.  In a nutshell, for 30 days you eat meat, veggies, fruit, sweet potatoes, and drinks of your choice as long as they contain no sugar, no artificial sweeteners, no dairy, and no alcohol.  It was a successful 30 days for me, and I learned a lot about the food I eat and what certain foods do to my body in a negative way (weight gain, muscle aches, bad skin), and positive (better digestion, weight loss, increased clarity of mind, increased energy, better sleep, clearer skin, etc).  Both members of my family were so impressed with my ability to stay dedicated to 30 days of clean eating that they decided to embark on one themselves.  Of course vacation would come first because the Kingston Trio loves to enjoy vacation and I can't think of anything less enjoyable than following a strict diet.  I took a 19 days break and paid for it with 5.4 pounds and the many other side effects from eating too much processed food, grains and sugar.  Do I regret it?  Well, yes and no.  I ate junk simply because I could and not because it tasted all that great, and that old habit filled me with regret, and put me in a lousy mood at times.  On the other hand, I ate THE most delicious bread, and balsamic/molasses glazed pork chop with a loaded baked potato that I have ever had, plus ice cream that made me really happy, and donuts that are better than Krispy Kreme.  Yes, I said it.  Seriously, if you ever go to Carolina/Kure Beach, and you can only eat at two places, one must be Freddies Italian (Kure Beach) and the other HAS to be Britt's Donuts on the Carolina Beach boardwalk.  You will thank me, I promise. 

As soon as vacation was over, it was time to hit the old Whole30 concept again, although this time, I made a few allowances in the area of dairy, and this time I would be joined by Anthony and Kira. While I realized during my first Whole30 that I had been consuming way too much dairy, and feel much better when cheese is not a food group, I really missed my cheese eggs and sour cream.  I adore avocados and especially when paired with salsa, a little sprinkled cheese and my beloved sour cream.  I don't eat it every day, although since we are daily egg eaters, I do eat a sprinkle (a light one) on my eggs on a daily basis, and I love it.  We are also not eating clarified butter or ghee either, because frankly, I don't have the time and patience to clarify every single stick of butter in my fridge, and I am NOT going to pay almost $8 for ghee.  We are also not killing our own grass fed cattle, nor am I always buying organic chicken.  It helps to be able to afford to eat, and spending our money on the best of the best is just not possible right now, especially if it means giving up vacations.  I will give up the beach under NO circumstances!  The other allowance I thought I might have to make for Anthony turned out to be a false alarm.  I was afraid that he would never be able to give up his Cokes and only drink water, but this has been a serious endeavor to him, and when he jumps in, he jumps in completely.  My man is going on two weeks without having any carbonation at all, nor any artificial sweeteners.  I am amazed at this!

All three of us began what I am calling the Kingston 30 on July 13, and since we have completed 10 days, I thought I would give a rundown on what we have learned:

1.  Eggs are fantastic!  While I do not buy grass fed beef or always eat organic chicken, I always try to buy either organic eggs from the grocery store, or better yet, I buy them farm fresh from locals.  The color is amazing, and the taste even more so.  I have also perfected the scrambled egg thanks for practice and a little help from the Southern Living kitchen folks.

2.  Cherry juice stains, and when you are trying to smash them for a recipe, if you are not careful, your kitchen will look like a crime scene.  This is Kingston 30 related because we are eating a LOT of fruit, and right now, cherries are on the top of my list.  As I was typing this, I dropped a pit out of my mouth and onto my white capris, which has bummed me out a little, but not enough to stop eating them.

3.  Sleeping late is a thing of the past.  Anthony has always looked forward to his Saturday mornings so that he could sleep in since he is a round the clock worker a lot of the time.  This past Saturday, however, he was awake by 7:00 stating that he just couldn't sleep later.  Apparently when your body is not weighed down by a lot of processed stuff and tons of unneeded carbohydrates, it wants to wake up earlier and make the most of the day.  If I can get him to go to bed at a decent hour, he will feel even better.

4.  I am cooking a LOT!!!  We made the decision to eat all of our meals at home, which means that yours truly is spending a lot of time in the kitchen preparing meals for the week.  As exhausting as this can be since I also work a full time job, it is totally worth it when I hear "oohs and aahs" coming from my family and they can't wait to eat again.  It also helps that Anthony is a grill master and can make anything we throw on there taste better than anything we can get at a restaurant.

5.  Kira is the envy of her co-workers at day camp.  During the past 10 days, she has taken delicious chicken salads and beautiful mouth watering fruit salads complete with fresh basil to work and without fail, someone has asked her to make them one or both.

6.  Both Kira and Anthony are running circles around me in regard to exercise, and I am okay with that.  Anthony is doing Instanity, which is insane, and Kira works out several times a week at the gym.  I ride my bike, and I am just fine with that since all other exercise seems too much like torture to me.

7.  Watermelon is our MVF---Most Valuable Fruit.  We love it!  It is dessert for the Kingstons and someone in the house has it at least once per day.

8.  We are spending less on food.  It would appear that would be the opposite given all the meat we are buying, but it really is not.  I buy meat that is on sale, except where steaks are concerned, since one of us will now only eat ribeyes, and all of us agree they taste the best.  As for fruit and vegetables, I buy what is in season, and we try to go to the farmer's market and buy local.  Local growers are on fire this summer, and the produce has never looked better.

Those are a few of the positive things we have noticed.  All of us miss certain foods that we are not allowed to have, and I have found it more difficult personally to do this the second time around, and have had a couple of slips here and there, mainly because of bad habits that creep in.  We are a pretty competitive trio, and have decided to make this into a contest.  All three of us weighed and took our measurements on the 13th, and will do it again at the end of the 30 days cycle, which will fall on August 12th, when we will weigh again, take our measurements again, and the winner will be announced.  The cycle actually ends on the 11th, but all tallying up will take place the next morning.  The winner will be chosen by using a body fat formula we got offline, which is not the best way to measure success, but it is the way we have chosen.  Each person has decided what they want as a reward, and they are as follows:

Anthony----Kira and I have to enlist in his 30 day training regime.  I REALLY don't want him to win.
Kira------Anthony has to clean up the room upstairs that contains all of his junk, and she gets to watch.
Tammy-----Four day beach trip at the beginning of Thanksgiving week.  I think we can all agree who needs to win.

Ten days in, and we are not killing each other.  Already the Kingston 30 is a lot more successful than I ever dreamed it would be.  Right now, if you were to walk in my kitchen, the only red stains you would find would be those belonging to cherries.  Let's hope it stays that way.

It Is Still The Beach

I am Frankie Heck.  If you do not watch The Middle, you have no idea what I am talking about.  If you do watch that show, you know the character Patricia Heaton plays is a frazzled mother of three who is constantly intruding in her children's lives, and makes goofs more times than not.  I am reminded often by our daughter that I am just like Frankie, and after what happened to us on our vacation, I can no longer deny that comparison, and here is why.  In the season finale of The Middle, the family traveled from Indiana to Orlando to go to Disney World on a trip the daughter had won in a contest.  When they got there and presented their tickets at Magic Kingdom, they were told they were at the wrong PARK!  Frankie had mistakenly booked them a vacation at Disney LAND.  After flipping out a bit, they were upgraded to deluxe accommodations, and everything worked out perfectly because is was television.  For the Kingstons, things did not go as well.

I plan family vacations for us.  It is why I have a job.  I work so I can take vacations, and I am constantly thinking of where we can go next and when.  As a matter of fact, as I type this, I am thinking of somewhere to go during Thanksgiving..............and Spring Break.............and Kira's senior trip.  For years, I have used Vacation Rentals By Owner, and have booked some killer deals.  As proof, I was responsible for booking this:

This was our family vacation during Spring Break two years ago, and it was fabulous!  This is proof that I do a pretty good job of finding great vacation spots.

This year was no different.  Back in December, I found a two bedroom condo in Carolina Beach, which was a beach south of my beloved Outer Banks, and one we had never visited.  After cajoling Anthony into an 8 hour drive, I booked it with the owner for July 5-12.  At least, that was what we both agreed to.  The contract was signed, all fees paid, and we were looking forward to our week at this new beach and our lovely views of the ocean from our condo.  When we arrived, however, we found our condo already inhabited and not by us.  Thankfully all we saw was someone else's stuff and not the someone elses.  I flipped out and immediately pulled up the many correspondences that had transpired between the owner and myself since December.  Apparently the dates we had agreed on were different than the dates the owner actually reserved for us, and while those dates (the 12th-19th) were clearly listed on the contract, I had missed the error.  Again and again, I missed it.  Even though I went over the contract several times, I still missed it!!  We had driven 8 hours and had nowhere to stay.  I continued to flip out, realizing that it was entirely possible that we would have to drive home and that there would be no Kingston vacation this year.  Thankfully, I have a cool headed husband who called the owner and after many calls back and forth and a night in one of the worst motels I have ever stayed in, where they didn't even ask how our stay was because they knew the answer, we were booked into the Surfside Motor Lodge.  Yes, we went from a two bedroom condo, to a motor lodge.  Think church camp with smokers, and you will have a pretty good idea what I am talking about.  It was oceanfront, but the dune was so high that the ocean seemed pretty far away, although we were able to see dolphins our last morning there.  We had a balcony, but it wasn't really ours since it was shared by everyone else, although whenever someone saw me out there, they quickly retreated back inside.  I am pretty sure I gave off the vibe of "I paid for an oceanfront balcony, and this one is mine."  Kira had her own bedroom, which doubled as the living room, kitchen.  Anthony and I had our own bedroom as well, and even had our own individual beds which was not a bad deal at all. 

 That was our walkway to the beach, and our balcony was the top floor end of the building in the foreground.

The day we got there, we had some adapting to do----a LOT of adapting.  There was a kitchenette which thankfully included a full size fridge, but absolutely no utensils or pots and pans.  We took off for Food Lion for food that I could cook there, and then to Dollar General for items to cook with.  It is not difficult at all to get what you need at Dollar General for less than $30 and we did just that.  Granted, we had brought paper products, dish washing detergent and the like from home, because that is what you do when you are staying in a condo, but we did not think we would need items to cook with.  I was able to cook breakfast every day, and fixed a couple of other things with just these items:

Those were really good ice trays, by the way, and who can't use a couple more plastic storage bowls?

We went to bed that first night resigned to our new and unexpected living arrangement, and very thankful that we had a place to stay.  I could have been depressed and angry over spending so much money on a condo we never got to use, but the depressed one was probably the owner because he came out of pocket for 7 days at a motor lodge, and as far as I know, his condo is sitting empty this week.  I am grateful that he didn't hold us to the signed contract, and that we weren't forced to go home.  I learned a lot about us as a family, and me as an individual.  First, I realized that you don't need a fancy condo to make great memories, and that I am in no position to be a hotel snob.  I like nice hotels, and never rent a condo that doesn't have great reviews, but I am not above anyone else, and can make most anything livable as long as I have plenty of air fresheners and a comfortable bed.  As for my family, they are THE BEST!!!  Neither of them complained about my egregious mistake, and both found themselves comforting me and making the best out of what could have been a disaster.  The wifi did not work, which meant Anthony couldn't do a lot of the work he planned to do, which was a good thing.  He spent more time at the beach with us, and we spent more time sitting around playing cards and binge watching Flip or Flop on HGTV. 

Other than spending as much time as possible at the beach, we took the ferry over to Southport, which is a beautiful town on the Cape Fear River, ate great Italian food, visited Fort Fisher, Wilmington, and Kure Beach.  We went to the Boardwalk a few times where we had the best donuts EVER, and where Kira shopped for souvenirs.  I walked to both piers, the Carolina Beach one and the Kure Beach one which was over three miles away.  I formed blisters between my toes, because I chose to walk back on the road wearing Teva flip flops, which was very dumb.  All in all, we had a fantastic vacation, and one we will never forget. 

The biggest takeaway?  It doesn't really matter when we stayed. What mattered was that it was still the beach, and as long as there is an ocean close, I can adapt to just about anything.

These were taken in Southport, which is just the prettiest little town of less than 4,000 residents.  I could seriously live here.

These were taken at Fort Fisher, and the trees were so beautiful.  The sound of the cicadas was so eerie and altogether wonderful to hear.

Different sunrises.  My favorite is the top one where the shrimp boat is going out and the paddle boarders are up early taking advantage of the calm Atlantic.

Every Thursday night, there are fireworks on the beach.  They were spectacular, as was this view at sunset.

And finally:

"Mahalo" is a Hawaiian word meaning thanks, gratitude, admiration, praise.

Pretty much how we all felt.

Whole30 Recap

First of all, about that picture.  I have discovered that when I post pictures to this blog, the first one I post, is the one that is chosen as my blog picture when I share it on Facebook.  Since I will be posting before and after pictures of my Whole30 experience, I did not want the picture you see on FB to be my "before" shot, so I chose this one of Kira, since this is how I feel about completing this Whole30 experience.  It is of her and not me, because I am 50 years old, with bad knees, and am pretty sure I can't jump that high.  Plus, she is just so darn cute and is in the Outer Banks on Jockey Ridge, so since she is my favorite teenager, and the that is one of my favorite places, I couldn't resist.

Now, about this Whole30.  I am happy it is over, but even happier that I decided to do it in the first place.  I learned so much about my habits in regard to food, and learned that I CAN actually give up certain food groups without sentencing myself to death by deprivation.  The first week was HARD, and I will not sugar coat that.  It was probably hardest for me, because my eating had been so out of control and bringing all of that to a full stop was torture.  Imagine eating as many sweets and processed foods you can possibly stomach, and washing all of that down with Diet Coke after Diet Coke after Diet Coke.  That is what I did, and my body rebelled big time.  I felt sick, lethargic, angry, depressed, and fed up.  How I managed to get through that first week, I can't say, except that I prayed a lot and His answer was always encouraging.  I also had the support of my family, although I did not clue them in on what I was doing until midway through the first week, because they had heard it all before, and without fail, I failed 9 times out of 10 during that first week of undertaking any program in the last few years. 

After the first week, it got much easier, but I learned that I had to plan, and as I have stated before, I don't plan.  I am a "fly by the seat of my pants" type of gal, and the only time I ever plan is when a beach or the Happiest Place On Earth is involved.  I plan for MONTHS then.  With food, not so much.  Whole30 required planning on my part, and while it was never perfect, I made sure I was not without good whole food at all times.  Planning was a necessity when we traveled, and during this 30 day journey, we traveled a lot.  We were in B'ham/Tuscaloosa for a weekend, at Anthony's mom's for another weekend where I had to face down a fridge full of my beloved nectar, because I had failed to tell my mother-in-law that I was off the stuff and she just wanted me to have what I wanted.  They are still in her fridge, by the way.  Planning also became a necessity when my work hours changed, and I found myself having to start my work day at 7, rather than 8, and I don't know about you, but I am not eating eggs at 7 in the morning.  That is when the approved Larabars came in handy, although I probably ate too many of those.  Weeks 3 and 4 were pretty much routine, and the last few days were a breeze. 

Before I post my results weight loss wise, I want to post the NSVs or non scale victories as they are cited on every weight loss forum out there. 

In no particular order, except the first one.

1.  I did not quit!  That is huge for me, because I am good at quitting any weight loss/healthy eating project I undertake.
2.  I have not had a Diet Coke in 30 days!! This is huge for me, because they are not good for anyone, but I have always used them as a crutch when dieting and trying to give up sugar.
3.  I love water.  When you can't have a DC, and you can't have artificial sweetener or fruit juice, and you don't like coffee, you are pretty much stuck with unsweetened tea or water, and as much as I like unsweetened ice tea, water is much easier to get and when you infuse it, it is that much better.  I drink water all the time, and never tire of it.
4.  Cheese is not necessary.  Don't get me wrong.  I love cheese, but until I did the Whole30, I thought I should have cheese with every meal.  The same goes with other dairy products.  Apparently, I don't have to have sour cream.  Butter is an exception with the Whole30, as long as it is clarified, which I admit to not always doing.
5.  Fruit tastes better when you aren't eating tons and tons of sugar and processed food.  That is so true, and the same goes with vegetables.  Who knew red bell peppers were so sweet and yummy?
6.  My energy levels improved a lot, and I no longer fall asleep at my desk at 3:00 every afternoon.  Bike rides have gotten better and my stamina has increased, although the hot temps get to me.
7.  I just feel better in general.  My gastrointestinal health has improved without giving too much information, and my joints don't hurt as much.  Except for my bad knees (way beyond the help of Whole30), I no longer feel like I am falling apart.

I will admit that I did not do everything perfectly.  By that, I mean that I did not eat grass fed/finished beef or organic chicken, and I did not always clarify my butter, or eat Whole30 approved bacon.  These are minor things to me, although I am sure I would benefit by better meat and poultry choices, and clarified butter is delicious.  I did the best with the budget I had.  I also did not eat vegetables with breakfast every day.  I tried, and I think salsa should count.  We did eat more vegetables as a family than we have in years, and that is what I was always going to the store to get, because I love them fresh. 

Since one of the tenets of the Whole30 is to stay off the scale, and to leave the measuring tape in the drawer, it was not until this morning, that I discovered the weight loss (or not) associated with the Whole30.  Before I post my results, I will say that I was at the highest weight I have been since I was pregnant over 17 years ago.  I had gained in the two weeks or so before starting the Whole30, so the fact that no one has commented (except for my wonderful Kingston duo) on any weight loss I achieved is not surprising to me.  I didn't do this for the approval of others, although it is always nice to hear the words "you look like you have lost weight."  I did this for me, so that number this morning on the scale was important.  In all honestly, numbers 1-7 above would have meant nothing had my scale not moved and my clothes were still tight.  If you don't have a weight problem, you can't possible fully understand that.  I started this because I felt miserable.  I felt miserable because I am obese.  Plain and simple.

So, here goes:

Inches lost in waist:  2  (I expected more here, so that was a little disappointing)
Inches lost in hips:    1 (again, a little disappointed because I thought I had lost more)
Inches lost in chest:   1/2 (oh well)
Pounds lost:   16.2  (I am pleased since that averages 4 per week)

Here are the before and after shots:

There you have it.  I am pleased with the results of 30 days, and while I am taking a break right now, and doing something a little different (another blog post will explain that), I would have no trouble doing this again.  I learned a lot, and I am not going to abandon what I learned from this experience.  In other words, I am NOT typing this while drinking a Diet Coke and eating a cupcake. 

If you want more information about the Whole30, please visit their website www.whole30.com.  It is very informative and perfectly healthy.

Janthony Goes To Piedmont

If you have read my previous posts, you know my new Trek Verve's name is Janthony, in honor of the two special people in my life who made her possible.  In the few short months that I have had her, we have logged over 200 miles together, but I had not yet taken her on a trip to Piedmont.  She was due, and so was I.  Deciding there was no better time for this than the first day of Summer, that trip finally happened this past Saturday.  If you live in the Deep South, or have ever lived in the Deep South, you already know that if you want to get anything accomplished outdoors, and you are not fond of the heat, you need to get up at the crack of dawn and get started, because you only have a few hours before the heat and humidity arrive.  I did not follow that wise tip, and did not head out on my ride until 8:30.  I decided to take pictures at my stops along the way, and to make myself drink plenty of water.  I left my beloved water bottle at church several weeks ago, and it has disappeared, so I had a substitute, which I quickly assessed did not live up to its hype of keeping my water cold, even in my insulated carrier.  This $8 bottle is inferior to my $4 one, so if anyone sees a water bottle at church that is shaped like a coke can, please get it for me.  I miss it.  Drinking water several times along the way on the first day of summer in Alabama is an absolute must, and I did not mind stopping to do so several times.  After all, I was not in a race, unless you can count the race against the heat. 

This was my first stop, and my usual stop when I bike with my friends.  It has been nicknamed Jacksonville's Stonehenge, which is quite funny to me, but a great place to stop for a drink, and everyone gets their own seat. 

I had just gotten back on my bike, and then came upon this obstruction.  We have had a lot of pop up afternoon thunderstorms lately, and apparently the one Friday evening felled this tree.  Luckily, it was not all the way across the trail, and easy to maneuver around.  Of course for at least a mile past the fallen tree, I was ever cognizant about debris on the trail and the potential of another puncture wound.  I zigzagged so much that it might appear that I was trying not to get shot. 

 The ride starts to get a little monotonous at this point, but I much prefer this shade to this sun.

There is a lot of sun between Jacksonville and Piedmont, and while this is a good thing in late November and early December, it is not such a good thing in mid June, especially when you are wearing your helmet which you have promised to wear whenever biking alone.  I really do hate that thing.  Right along here is where serious cyclists began to pass me coming and going.  I LOVE to see the expensive road bikes utilizing the trail, and I like to imagine where they are from, and how long they have been riding.  A group of such riders passed me when I was taking care of this little critter, who was almost across the trail, but not quite.

I could not stand the thoughts of someone riding over this little fella, so I stopped to help him all the way across.  The cycling group of two women and three men (all young and fit) passed me, asked if I was okay, and rode on.  I passed them a few minutes later because they had stopped for a drink, and they passed me again even later than that.  As they passed the second time, one of the women complimented me on the pace I was riding and the men seconded that.  They then asked if I rode often, I told them at least 3 times a week, and I got the beloved thumbs up.  I am not going to lie.  That felt great to me.  I don't look like your typical cyclist and I do not ride an expensive road bike, but I appreciated those words of encouragement from strangers I may never see again.  I felt an instant camaraderie with them and I will never forget those nice words.

I arrived soon at the Eubanks Welcome Center in Piedmont, and met other nice cyclists.  I met an elderly gentleman who was riding with his daughter and were from Arab.  They like to come here to ride the Ladiga because they love the trail.  I also overheard a trio of men who were signing the guestbook state that they were riding all 200 miles of the Ladiga/Silver Comet, and decided that if they couldn't do it on the longest day of the year, they didn't need to do it at all.  After looking at them and their bikes, I had no doubt they would accomplish their goal.  Everyone complimented the trail and I lose sight sometimes of how wonderful it really is and how lucky we are to be a part of such a great Rails to Trails system.  Incidentally, signing the guestbook at the welcome centers is a great way to get grant money for the trails, so said the volunteer who was passing the book around, so I added my name.  It is also a great way to find out where cyclists come from, and they come from all over.  Check out the one at the train depot in J'ville when you get the chance. 

After visiting and using the facilities, I was on my way home.  My favorite intersection on this part of the trail is Possom Trot Road.  When I get to that intersection, I know that my ride will be easier both ways, and since it was quickly approaching noon and the temps were climbing, I was very happy to get to Possom Trot Road on Saturday.  I stopped again at stonehenge and made the mistake of getting on my phone to return a couple of calls.  As much as I enjoyed the conversations, my knees did not, and by the time I got back on my bike to head for home, I was stiff and in a lot of pain. 

This was my last stop of the day, and it was at the turtle pond.  I did not intend to stop here, but when I rode by, that log was FULL of turtles.  Every inch occupied by big ones and small ones.  I stopped my bike and stealthily made my way to the edge of the trail so I could get a picture.  I promise I was as quiet as anyone could be, but somehow those turtles heard, felt or smelled me and quickly slid into the water, leaving only three on the log.  I can never sneak up on those things.  Didn't they know I had just saved one of their own a few miles back? 

By the time I got home, I was exhausted and hot.  I had ridden 31.5 miles on the first day of Summer in Alabama.  As hot as I was, I felt accomplished and can't wait to do it again.

Happy Summer!!  Did I mention that it is my least favorite time of year? 

Whole30 Homestretch

Today began my last seven days on the Whole30 experiment and I am very excited to have gotten this far without straying from the plan.  It has been 23 days since I have had a Diet Coke or sugar or artificial sweetener..........................I had to allow that to sink in for a moment.  I can't remember the last time I went 23 days with that sweet nectar.  Do I still miss it?  Yes and no.  I miss the sweet burn I get when I swallow my first gulp, and I miss the deliciousness of a 20oz with a bit of mushy ice in the top of the bottle, but I don't miss the stains it leaves on my teeth, or the craving it gives me for something sweeter, or the guilt I feel after consuming a six pack in one day.  To be honest, I actually enjoy drinking the water.  I drink it plain at work, infused at home, and with lemon in restaurants, and I am never away from it.  My favorite is sparkling waster or club soda with fruit and herbs thrown in.  I love my muddler!  I look forward to pouring a glass of sparkling water that is so infused with strawberries that the water is a beautiful dark pink color.  Will I drink a DC when this is over?  Maybe, but I certainly won't run to the vending machine for one.  I sort of like having that extra change in my wallet, and I feel much better shelling out $1.50 for a bottle of S.Pellegrino than I do for a 2 liter of Diet Coke.  I am sure, however, that when we get to the beach for vacation, and I have a big juicy cheeseburger with fries (maybe), I will want to wash it down with a cold Diet Coke.  Perhaps.

I will admit to missing whole food groups while on this adventure, although I will also admit that my cravings for specific foods have diminished considerably.  Last night was a real test to this because we had book club at a friend's house, and because I don't like to impose my food preferences or dietary needs onto anyone else, I had no idea what to expect when I got there.  As insurance, I ate a Whole30 approved Larabar just in case there was nothing I could eat.  I was pleasantly surprised to find fruit, olives, nuts, and guacamole, so I ate those things, and only a couple of times cursed the Whole30 for not allowing me to have the beautiful quesadillas, the crackers, the pasta salad,  the brie with honey, and the little dessert choices at the end.  It was tough, but luckily we had great conversation along with the items I could eat, and I left feeling no guilt and very little remorse for passing up those other wonderful things.

Have I lost weight?  I have no idea, although I would say that I may have dropped 10 pounds and a few inches, based on how my clothes feel, and the differences in before/now pictures I have taken.  I have had no indication from anyone else that I look better or that I may have lost weight, and that is always discouraging, although my weight fluctuates between obese and more obese, so I can't blame anyone from noticing.  My daughter, however, has been super supportive and swears to me that she can tell, and since I have never known her to intentionally lie to me without a tearful confession later, I am taking her at her word.  My skin is clearer, my hair is shinier, and I no longer feel like crashing every day at 3:00, so those are all good signs.  I am sleeping better, although I still have vivid dreams that interrupt my sleep, which is nothing Whole30 can cure, and I am doing better with my bike rides, feeling that I can ride longer distances without keeling over.

Has this Whole30 been worth it?  ABSOLUTELY!!!!  Am I glad it is almost over?  YOU BET!!

I am still in the process of planning what will happen diet wise when I complete this first round, and I say first round, because I intend to to it at least one more time with Kira.  I will have 19 days between the end of round 1 and the beginning of round 2, and I do not plan to undo all the hard work I have put into this, so I will need some pretty concrete plans.

I have 7 days to figure out what those plans will be.

Since I have become a water convert, my picture for this blog is about its wonderfulness.

Flat

As I noted in a previous post, I began the Whole30 program 18 days ago, and it has been quite the new experience for me for sure.  I have learned a lot about what happens to a body that has grown accustomed to very unhealthy food and is all of a sudden forbidden those same foods all in one fell sweep.  It has been very unpleasant at times, especially at the beginning, but I believe I have rebounded nicely, and since I am almost 2/3rds of the way finished, I can say without a doubt that the benefits have far outweighed the unpleasantness, and that is saying a lot because there has been some major unpleasantness.

Yesterday my friends and I were finally able to get back on our bikes and back on the Ladiga Trail.  I say finally, because it has rained a LOT this week, and since I work daily until 4:30, I am not able to get on the trail until 5:00 which is about the time the t'storms come rolling in.  I love storms as most of you know, but when they keep me off my bike, my love diminishes a bit.  Yesterday was no different, except the storm thankfully waited until 7:00 or so to come.  That was great news for me, because I had a flat!  There have been many times when I have had malfunctions of some sort, or been with someone who has had a malfunction.  Everything from pedals falling off mid ride, to warped tires, and entire brake systems coming apart has happened to either my friend or me.  I have never had a flat, until yesterday, and if you have never experienced this, then you don't know that it happens all of a sudden.  You may pick up a sharp object and not realize it until it punctures the inner tube and just like that, the tire deflates, and you are stuck.  Thankfully, I was not alone, and my friends rode back to the house, where one of them hopped in her truck and made a rescue, while I sat on a picnic bench lamenting my interrupted ride.  Had it happened a week earlier, I might have been thankful for the sudden rest my flat would have afforded me, because truthfully, I had been feeling really FLAT myself, and each bike ride since beginning the Whole30 was exhausting.  For the first two weeks of this experiment, I have been exhausted on my rides, barely having the energy to complete them, and having to gear down a lot just to make it home.  I knew this would happen because I have been reading the Whole30 survival guide and the comments of others, and while I regained my energy in other areas of my life fairly easily, it was not so easy with my rides. 

Until yesterday.

Yesterday, I was having one of the best rides of my life!  My energy levels were back, and although parts of the trail were a bit more strenuous than others (they always are), I felt I could have ridden several more miles before heading home.  I was finally experiencing the increased energy levels the authors of the Whole30 said I would experience, and it was great, until the flat. 

I took my bike in to the shop to have my flat repaired, and less than 20 minutes later, it was as good as new.  It took me a little longer to get my body pumped back up for exercise, but it has happened, and hopefully my bike and I can enjoy another ride where we both feel full of energy and air.

I did not take any pictures on my ride yesterday, so I am posting one of Kira in her prom dress with her friends at one of my favorite spots on the trail, and a random cyclist who had cycled to Cedartown, GA that day.

Whole30 Halfway Finished!

Woo Hoo!  I am halfway finished with my first Whole30, and it continues to go quite well.  I have no idea if I have lost any weight, because stepping on the scale is absolutely forbidden, which is a total first before, since I have never gone this long without checking my weight.  Another reason I can't seem to follow a healthy eating plan for very long.

IT HAS BEEN FIFTEEN DAYS SINCE I HAVE HAD A DIET COKE!!! 

I screamed that to myself in my head, because it is hard to fathom that I would go without DCs for this long.  I no longer crave them and that is something special, because during the first week, I craved them constantly.

What have I learned during the first half of this experiment? 

1.  Water tastes good, and makes my skin look much better.
2.  My skin is clearer than it has been in a long time since I have eliminated wheat and sugar.
3.  I don't crave dairy as much as I thought I would, and this is coming from a girl who has to have cheese on everything.
4.  I no longer feel sluggish at 3:00 in the afternoon.
5.  I can go much longer between meals without eating and hardly ever snack.
6.  Larabars are great in a pinch, but real food is better.
7.  It is possible to eat out every meal for two days and make healthy choices.  Taziki is my new love because they prepared me the most delicious Whole30 approved meal ever.
8.  Infused water is my new best friend.
9.  The next 15 days will be easier.
10.  I am beginning to have more energy.

Except for a couple of days of constipation, things are going surprisingly well, and I am beginning to develop my strategy for vacation.  I will not be doing another Whole30 until I return, but I don't want to go completely off the program, although I do plan to relax a lot.  It is vacation after all. 

My goal is to abstain from gaining any weight on my vacation.  If I maintain whatever I have lost during my first Whole30, I will be happy.  If I happen to lose, I will be ecstatic!

Whole30 Days 5-10

I have not posted since day 4, but I am still going strong with this Whole30 plan, and I am beginning to notice slight differences in certain aspects of my physical and psychological self.  After 9 full days, I do not feel my clothes being much looser, and in fact, they may actually feel a little tighter, although according to the Whole30 Timeline, that is to be expected at this point, because my body is still trying to adjust to no sugars, more veggies, etc.  I do, however, notice that my skin is clearer and no longer itches as if I have hives, I am able to go longer between meals without feeling absolutely famished, my cravings are beginning to diminish somewhat, and my energy levels are increasing.  I no longer want to crash at 3 p.m. so there is that. 

According to the Timeline, day 10 should be the hardest day, the day when I most want to quit and "eat the dang cheese."  To be honest, day 10 has not been that way for me.  I haven't had any overwhelming urges to quit, although I am probably still in the grieving stages of the plan where I miss crashing on my sofa with junk food at my disposal, not caring at the time how it would make me feel both physically and emotionally.  As someone who binge eats, this grief is real and I miss that freedom.

I am almost a third of the way there, and I feel accomplished, but also a little depressed because I have 20 more days to go!  I would much rather be halfway there.  Halfway there sounds doable.  A third of the way there sounds a bit depressing. 

Last night I prepared a meal from my Blue Apron box and could not eat a single bite.  It was the best looking meatball sub on the PLANET and I had to hand it over to Kira.  I do admit that I took great pleasure when she told me that it was delicious, even though I couldn't taste it myself.  Tonight I will go through the same thing as she eats the second one, while I eat chicken and broccoli. 

Yep, I am still grieving, but I am hanging on.

Fact: you are most likely to quit your Whole30 program on Day 10 or 11. By this point, the newness of the program has worn off. You’ve made it through most of the unpleasant physical milestones, but you’ve yet to experience any of the “magic” the program promises. You’re still struggling to establish your new routine (read: you’ve eaten eggs prepared ten different ways over the last ten days), and while you’ve been trying really hard to have a good attitude, today you are incredibly aware of all the foods you’re “choosing not to eat right now.”  Everywhere you look, you see the things you “can’t” have: the melted cheese on a greasy burger, the creaminess of that double-scoop cone, the cold beer in your best friend’s tailgate cooler. Dammit, this is hard! And right now you’re wondering if the results will really be as good as “they” all say it is.
You’re cranky, you’re impatient, and you’re really, really tempted to just eat the stupid cheese.
- See more at: http://whole30.com/2013/08/revised-timeline/#sthash.JecfdN4I.dpuf

Fact: you are most likely to quit your Whole30 program on Day 10 or 11. By this point, the newness of the program has worn off. You’ve made it through most of the unpleasant physical milestones, but you’ve yet to experience any of the “magic” the program promises. You’re still struggling to establish your new routine (read: you’ve eaten eggs prepared ten different ways over the last ten days), and while you’ve been trying really hard to have a good attitude, today you are incredibly aware of all the foods you’re “choosing not to eat right now.”  Everywhere you look, you see the things you “can’t” have: the melted cheese on a greasy burger, the creaminess of that double-scoop cone, the cold beer in your best friend’s tailgate cooler. Dammit, this is hard! And right now you’re wondering if the results will really be as good as “they” all say it is.
You’re cranky, you’re impatient, and you’re really, really tempted to just eat the stupid cheese.
- See more at: http://whole30.com/2013/08/revised-timeline/#sthash.ro1WAf4b.dpuf

Fact: you are most likely to quit your Whole30 program on Day 10 or 11. By this point, the newness of the program has worn off. You’ve made it through most of the unpleasant physical milestones, but you’ve yet to experience any of the “magic” the program promises. You’re still struggling to establish your new routine (read: you’ve eaten eggs prepared ten different ways over the last ten days), and while you’ve been trying really hard to have a good attitude, today you are incredibly aware of all the foods you’re “choosing not to eat right now.”  Everywhere you look, you see the things you “can’t” have: the melted cheese on a greasy burger, the creaminess of that double-scoop cone, the cold beer in your best friend’s tailgate cooler. Dammit, this is hard! And right now you’re wondering if the results will really be as good as “they” all say it is.
You’re cranky, you’re impatient, and you’re really, really tempted to just eat the stupid cheese.
- See more at: http://whole30.com/2013/08/revised-timeline/#sthash.ro1WAf4b.dpuf

My New Secret Weapon

Until yesterday, I had not been on a bike ride since Memorial Day, and I have the sore knees and buttocks to attest to that today.  Yesterday's ride was wonderful, but a bit grueling for me due to my week long inactivity and this new program I am on to change my eating habits.  I have not gone public with what I am doing, so unless you log in to blogger.com and read the blog posts I don't share on Facebook, you have no idea what I am talking about.  Without going into detail, I am on the 9th day of giving up a LOT of stuff.  I will continue to give up this stuff until I reach day 30 and then I will evaluate my eating habits, how I feel, what changes I have noticed, etc, and I will decide whether to add any of the things I have given up back or to keep going with what I have learned.  I can already tell you that one week from my 30th day, I will be packing for our vacation to Carolina Beach and they have a world famous doughnut stand and I plan to have a world famous doughnut.  It is a planned treat, and there will probably be others.  I will be embarking on my second 30 days on the Monday after I return.  In case you want to read up on this, it is called Whole30 and it is fantastic!!  I can say that on Day 9.  On Day 1, I would have told you that it was torture.  In fact, during days 1-5, I would have told you that. 

One of the beloved things I have had to give up is my Diet Cokes.  I LOVE Diet Cokes!!  I have a serious problem with Diet Cokes.  This is not exaggeration, and I have family who can back me up.  At work, I have been known to drink at least 4 12 ounce cans, go home, have another 20 ounce or more, and then wake up and do it all over again.  Diet Coke is very unhealthy and I was very addicted to it.  I realize addiction is a strong word, but I have no other word for my utter dependence of those things.  Of all the things I have had to give up (including dairy), giving up the DCs has been the most difficult.  Right now, as I type this, I want one.  It has been almost 9 full days since I have had one, and I still want one. 

What do I drink since I am not drinking Diet Coke?  I drink a lot of water---a LOT of water!  I drink it with ice, or straight out of the fridge from my Voss bottle I saved and keep filled. Sometimes I drink it with lime or lemon rings, which is a nice treat.  All of that is fine, and I am doing well drinking my water, but it can get really boring, especially when you need that tingly sensation carbonated drinks give you.  My friend suggested I try club soda, which I initially balked at because it reminds me of Alka Seltzer Plus cold medicine.  However, once I got ride of my Diet Coke, and actually tried some fizzy water, I was amazed at how good it actually is.  Add a little fruit and my favorite herb, and it kicks it up a notch or two.

THIS is my new love, and my secret weapon to combat those Diet Coke cravings:

This is not a very flattering picture and when you first make it, it looks a lot prettier, but this tastes better because it has been infusing for a long time.  What you see here is infused water with strawberries, lemon slices (lime here), basil leaves, and Pellegrino sparkling water.  It is fantastic and I cannot wait to get home and have a glass.

If I have to give up some of my favorite things, I need to make adjustments, and this is one of the best adjustments I have ever made.  At the end of this 30 days, a Diet Coke may not even be on my radar of indulgences.

Whole30 Days 2-4

I have not kept up with the daily blogging about the Whole30 approach like I stated I would, but I HAVE stayed true to the program, and am halfway through Day 4.

What have the last three days been like for me? I have had some ups and some downs, and have craved Diet Coke every second of every minute of every hour of every day.  That is not an exaggeration, which tells me that I have a serious addiction.  I thought giving up dairy would be difficult because I love cheese, heavy cream, and sour cream.  It has not been that terrible.  I knew how I would feel about giving up grains, legumes, and sugar, although this is the first time I have ever gone cold turkey from sweeteners of any kind, as I have always had artificial ones around my house, but apparently, Paleo eating frowns on those, and Whole30 frowns on all of it, including honey, which I love.  I believe after the Whole30 is complete, I can substitute honey, molasses, and probably agave in recipes, but we will see. 

So, let's break it down day by day so far:

Day Two:  after completing the first day, I knew Day 2 might be a bit difficult, and it was.  I felt hungry all day long!  I had planned on riding bikes when I got home, but honestly prayed that God would send some rain so we couldn't make the ride.  Sure enough, as I got closer to home, I found out that it had been raining, and we decided to postpone until another time.  We actually could have ridden, because the rain did not come back, but I was good with not going, because I was dead tired, and very cranky.  I meant to go to bed earlier, but did not, which was not a good thing.  I did stay true to the program, however, and ate things such as eggs with bacon, grilled chicken with veggies, and hamburger patty with veggies, and an apple.  I am not sure about the whole fruit thing, especially where apples and bananas are concerned, because they tend to make me crave more.  I think I will stick more to berries most of the time.

Day Three:  it was not terribly bad, although there were ups and downs.  I managed to get through the day at work well, because I worked out in our shop with the clients and it helped pass the time.  I came home and made some homemade mayo (incredibly easy and CHEAP), and used that to make avocado dressing that was very tasty.  I ate a salad with my chicken (also had chicken for lunch) and ate some berries.  Skipping the fruit at lunch made me feel less hungry, so I see a trend here.  Still missed my DC and felt on the verge of cheating at times because the cravings would be that strong.  I managed to get into bed by 10:15---yay!!

Day Four:  I am in the middle of it, but here is what I have learned so far.  My face is broken out even worse than before I started, but since that is normal, I am okay with it.  Nothing a little makeup can't hide.  According to the timeline, I am supposed to want to "kill all the things" but I can't say that I do.  I am a little more testy, but that could just be the normal me.  So far I have not bitten anyone's head off----so far.  The day is still young.  Still having intense cravings, but am drinking my water and trying not to think of them. 

I received some positive encouragement from the few friends I have told about this, and from strangers on the Whole30 FB page.  That always counts, and I will probably be leaning on them more and more.

On the menu for tonight is ribeye steak, a salad, sweet potato, and maybe strawberries with homemade whipped coconut milk.  That actually sounds delicious to me.

Whole30 Day One

I started the Whole30 yesterday, and it went pretty much as expected.  I was off work because of Memorial Day, so I spent some of the day lounging around in bed reading, and even went on a bike ride, although not a very long one and with plenty of stops along the way.  I have a feeling my energy is going to be zapped this week, and I will want to lie in bed when I get home.  I am okay with that, because I know my body is adjusting.

Today, I had:

2 eggs scrambled in coconut oil, salsa, and 2 pieces of bacon.  I know I am supposed to avoid the processed bacon, but I can't afford to get the whole30 approved yet, so I ate what I had.

hamburger patty, wiener, mustard, lettuce, tomato, blueberries.  Not sure I ate enough at lunch because I was pretty hungry afterwards.

hamburger patty, brussel sprouts with clarified butter and bacon, strawberries.  I drank water with all of my meals and plenty in between. 

I missed my diet cokes and missed snacking in between meals, but all in all, I managed to make it through the day, and was in bed shortly after ten.

Whole30

A couple of weeks ago, I stumbled upon a recipe for homemade mayo that was posted by Kalyn's Kitchen and referenced the Whole30 program that an acquaintance/family member/someone she knows is doing.  I was intrigued by the simplicity of the homemade mayo, and then was further intrigued by Whole30.  After googling (like I do), I discovered two of the cutest people on the planet talking about their program and subsequent book that was actually published in 2009, but has had an insurgence because of social media.  Imagine social media being used for good.  These cuties are a husband and wife team that could not possibly be more fit than they are.  He is a physical therapist and both of them are certified sports nutritionists, and they live in Utah.  From what I have been reading, pretty much the whole state of Utah is obsessed with Whole30 and their blog Whole9.  I am not sure if obsession is in the cards for me, but as my weight continues to climb, something besides food certainly needs to be. 

I know, I know.  Wasn't it just a week or so that I swore of dieting and yearned for a more balanced approach to food and my life in general?  Wasn't I going to "get ahold of my eating, and turn this around?"  I can't remember all the stuff I said, but apparently, it was just "stuff" because since posting that, I have managed to gain MORE!!  I am in desperation mode here, and it takes desperation for me to finally get off my butt and do something about the food I am consuming and the way it makes me feel. 

The premise behind Whole30 is pretty straight forward, simple, and incredibly structured.  I don't like structure, but I also don't like weighing 261 pounds.  That's right---261!  I have not weighed that much in 18 years when I was mega pregnant with Kira.  Whole30 is based on the paleo diet, and if you are not familiar, you basically stay away from all things processed, eliminating grains, sugar including artificial sweeteners (what!?!?!), dairy including cheese (NO!!!), corn and potatoes, except for sweet potatoes (yay!), and legumes, except for green beans (whatever).  This is what I see when looking at the "can't have list"

I can't have Diet Cokes-----I am addicted to Diet Cokes!!! Seriously!!!  I have no less than four 12 ounce cans per day, and sometimes that is just during the working hours.

I can't have cheese----I adore cheese!  All cheese!  Cheese is a big part of my life and now I can't have it.

I can't have bread----I have done without this before, and I can do without it again.  It is tough, but I always had my DC and cheese to fall back on.  I no longer have that.

I can't have sugar in any form----No artificial sweeteners.  No sugar free jello, no sugar free cheesecake or sugar free candy, no GUM!!!

I can't have junk food---yeah, okay, I shouldn't have junk food anyway, but when you tell me I can't, all I do is WANT.

What can I have?

I can have meat, chicken, fish (preferably grass fed, organic, and wild)
I can have fruit
I can have vegetables
I can have sweet potatoes
I can have WATER!!

Whole30 is incredibly restrictive and I am going to get worse before I get better.  The authors of the book tell me that up front, but they also tell me that the payoff is worth it, and I am going to feel better than ever after my 30 days of over.  Did I mention that those restrictions last only 30 days?  That seems like forever from now, but 30 days passes by so quickly, and I should be able to do anything for 30 days, although I believe I would enjoy the "Eat Whatever You Want" program a lot better.  What happens after the 30 days is over?  They are realistic here.  They say that if you want a bowl of ice cream, eat one.  Chances are it will make you feel like death, but if you want it, have it.  I am reading testimonials, and some people to have a special treat once they finished, but most want to jump right back and do another Whole 30.  One woman who looks to be about my age, has lost 43 pounds doing this for three months.  Chances are, she took a break in between and then started back, which is probably what I will do.  I have a LOT of weight to lose, so I will be doing Whole30 several times over. 

I would love to make permanent changes with this program.  I know what grain does to me.  I do not have celiac disease and do not suffer those severe symptoms, but I know that my skin looks better when I stay away from grain, I feel less bloated, I joints do not hurt as bad, and my mind is clearer.  This is what happens to me and may not happen to everyone.  I would love to ditch my beloved Diet Cokes forever.  They have no nutritional value whatsoever, and cause a lot of damage if you believe the studies done.  They also make me hungrier and who doesn't need to drink more water.  I would love to fall in love with fruit.  I have never been a big fruit eater, because I am a junk food person, and all my sweet cravings have always been in the form of cakes, ice creams, candy bars, etc.  I would also love to transition to grass fed beef, organic chicken, and wild caught fish when I can afford to do so, and I believe that will be possible on down the road.  Right now, however, I have to make this work eating supermarket meat, poultry, and fish. 

Will this work?  Will I make it 30 days?  I fully believe that I can.  I will take it one day at a time, and see what happens.

Wish me luck.

Riding Solo

I love that picture, because it is creative, and it pretty much sums up how I feel when I am on my bicycle riding on the trail.  There is something about being on those two wheels and feeling free.  Free to let all the stresses of the day go, free to enjoy nature and the beauty of God's creation, free to converse with friends who are riding along beside, in front, or slightly behind, and free to be alone.  Yesterday, I experienced the latter, and I felt free.

Admittedly, I get a better workout when I ride with my friends, especially when we are talking animatedly about something and the miles peel away with little or no thought to how fast we are going or what we may be missing along the way.  I love days like that. I love to catch up on the lives of my buds while enjoying the outdoors.  I love when we solve the world's problems, which is pretty much every time we ride, or just work through something personal that is going on.  Mostly, I love laughing so much that I lose my voice midway through the ride, and get it back only when we stop for water.  I have blogged several times about riding with my friends and how much that means to me.  I try to ride with someone at least twice a week, but we are all very forgiving if something comes up and one of us can't ride.  We all feel free to say no.

Yesterday, I rode solo, and I did not mind it at all. Admittedly, my solo ride was a bit shorter and more leisurely than when I ride with my friends, but it was still a great ride, and I am glad I went.  I love my family and friends, but I also love to be alone.  I have been to movies by myself, shopping by myself, trips by myself, and have eaten in numerous restaurants by myself.  Eating alone in a restaurant is unheard of for some, but I find that I sometimes receive better service when I am alone, and especially when I have a notebook or digital device with me because they are not QUITE sure that I am NOT a food critic.  Try it next time, especially if you are dressed well and repeatedly type or write something after eating a bite of food. 

When I ride alone, I try my best to be prepared for the unexpected.  I always have my water, and make certain my cell phone is fully charged in case I have an emergency.  I also keep a small canister of pepper spray attached to my bike for easy retrieval, just in case I need to show it to a dog, or one of those two footed creatures who may look a little too shady.  The last time I pulled it out to show a dog, I honestly think it rolled its eyes at me in complete disinterest.  Usually, I will also have my iPod Shuffle with me, making sure I keep one ear open for approaching cyclists.  I love listening to my playlist while I ride, and often find myself varying my speed based on what song is playing.  It is not uncommon for me to sing out loud, and loudly.  I love music and something about listening to it while riding takes freedom to a new level.

Whether riding alone or with my friends, I never feel as free as when I am riding the trail, talking, singing, or marveling at five deer as they amble across the trail. I am sure they felt pretty free themselves.

What's The Point?

If you have known me for very long, you know that my struggle with my weight has been a lifelong one, although not to the extent it is for me today.  In fact, in school, I average being anywhere from 20-40 pounds overweight, and not the staggering 100 plus where I find myself at this moment.  I don't intend to spend the next few minutes whining about all the diets I have been on and failed, because at 100+ pounds overweight, I think the failure part is pretty obvious.  I also am not asking for "assistance" on how to lose this weight.  That happened the last time I blogged and was honest about my struggles.  I put myself out there, got lots of unsolicited advice, and when I failed to become a CNN weight loss story of the month, I actually lost the support of at least one person who I thought was one of my biggest cheerleaders.  I ran into her in a store a few months after I finished my blog about bike riding for 28 days, and when she saw that my body composition had not changed in the slightest, she seemed to completely lose interest, and barely even spoke.   
What is the point of this blog entry?  I am not really sure, except that I feel that I owe it to myself to be completely honest in regard to where I am now in my struggle to become a healthier person and to lose weight.  I am in the process of changing my food lifestyle and while I am a "quick fix" kind of girl, at 50 years of age, I finally realize that there is no such thing, as there is no such thing as total deprivation, at least not all at once.  I spoke of finding a balance in my last post, and I am still seeking that balance.  Last week was a good one, until Mother's Day when I flooded my body with food that I was not even hungry for, but ate it anyway because I am still unsure how to handle social situations and because it was there.  Why have just a hamburger when you can also add a hotdog?  Why only have potato salad when you can also add chips and dip?  Why stop at the trifle when you really love your mom's cake as well?  I like the term Food Flood, because that is exactly what I did, and it is taking a few days for the flood to recede, and has taken me farther away from my goal.  Thankfully, I got back on track yesterday, and the flood is receding a little at a time.  I need flood insurance, but if I am completely honest with myself, I have to realize that I will alway live in a flood zone.  I am wired toward binge eating, but with enough preparation and a lot of sand bags, it is possible to withstand the next one, which is likely to come on Father's Day.  There is something about holidays, birthdays, Fridays, etc.

While I am still trying to figure out the point of this blog entry, I will be honest about another area of my life directly related to my weight struggle.  I DESPISE HAVING MY PICTURE TAKEN!!!  I am not sure about any of you, but I look better when I see myself in a mirror than I do when I see myself how I really look through the eyes of a camera.  Photos are very revealing, and I have very few of myself because they force me to see how I really look.  I have this one photo that Anthony took of Kira and me when she was 2 or three, and while she is her always adorable self, she is not the one my eyes are drawn to.  I am.  Not because I was still in my '30s (I loved my '30s), but because I was pretty.  I loved my hair, and I loved my body.  I was not thin, and if memory serves I weighed around 190 which is still considered obese (sigh) for someone of my height, but I looked healthy and I felt fantastic.  I will not post that picture here because it is too painful to look at now, but I do know that I can get back there and I have goals to do that.  What I will do, however, is something I despise doing.  I am posting my "before" shots.  Both of these were taken in the last 10 days, and while I am unhappy with both, they reveal to me where I am today, but definitely not where I plan to be weeks from now.  I have goals that I will discuss in a later post, and plan to post follow-up pictures wearing the same outfits. 

  

If you know me, you know that posting those two pictures is one of the hardest things I will do today.  I open myself up to judgement, but I also open myself up to support, and am hoping more for the latter.

What is the point of this entry?  I still don't know.  Maybe I just felt like being honest, or maybe I need some accountability, or maybe I am just ready for change. 

Maybe those pictures will be on CNN one day.

Extreme versus Balanced

This is the second beginning to this blog post, as well as the second title.  Why?  Because I am trying to sum up my personality, and what my personality type has to do with my inability to stick to goals I have set for myself time and time again to become a healthier person.  At first I thought I was a food addict, but that was basically an excuse I used for my constant failure at diets.  According to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary addict means  "to devote or surrender (oneself) to something habitually or obsessively."  In some sense that could possibly describe me, but I have proven in the past that I can go without food.  When I was going to WW, I would stop eating on Sunday night, and go completely without food until my weigh-in on Tuesday evening.  I can go without food.  If addict did not fit, what about undisciplined?  I can certainly be that.  Ask my co-workers about the paperwork that is still sitting on my desk and should have been turned in weeks ago.  Ask my husband about the many promises not to spend money we don't have simply because I believe I need something.  Ask God about my shoddy prayer life and Bible study.  Don't do that last one please.  Seriously.  I have started and stopped so many weight loss programs, and Bible studies, and exercise regimens, that I am embarrassed to begin to give them a number.  But does the word undisciplined describe me best?  After all, I have worked since I was 16 years old, and have been at my current job for a month shy of 20 years.

I believe that while I have an addictive personality, and am pretty much undisciplined, as well as impulsive, selfish, lazy, etc., the word that best describes who I am is EXTREME.  While there are many variations of the definition of that word, the one that seems most to describe me is "going to great or exaggerated lengths."

Take dieting for instance.  In a previous blog post, I stated that my eating plan of choice would be low carb.  I have been on low carb diets before and have been incredibly successful.  In all honesty, a low carb diet is perfect for me for many reasons.  I believe, although I have never been tested, that I have a low tolerance for all things gluten and sugary.  I feel better physically when I do not eat bread or sugar.  My hunger diminishes drastically when I cut out most carbs.  It is a doable diet for me, especially with the introduction of nut flours and good for you sugar substitutes.  It is doable, IF I never eat out with friends, have unlimited money to spend for those expensive nut flours and sugar substitutes, and never plan to eat banana pudding again for the rest of my life.  It is doable, but it is EXTREME.  

Take exercise.  I am either all in or all out.  I either exercise every day for at least an hour, or I give it up completely and channel surf from my sofa.  Yesterday for example, I told my husband that I planned to walk to choir practice that evening.  It is 3.52 miles to FBC Jacksonville from my house if I go the back roads.  Since Jacksonville is only pedestrian friendly when you get into the heart of town, it would have been necessary to use the trail, adding some mileage on.  It was an insane idea for someone who professes to only walking when necessary, and knowing that it would be dark when I got out of practice, I would have to go through town on the way home, and call someone to pick me up when I ran out of sidewalk.  Could I have done it?  Sure.  Was it a bit fool hardy?  If the look on Anthony's face was any indication, I would say, yes it was.  

Cycling has fallen prey to my extreme personality on more than one occasion.  There have been the times when I set out to just ride a few miles, and decided to push my limits and ride all the way to Piedmont and back, which is 30 miles give or take a few miles.  This is doable and pleasurable even when I have been riding for a while and have built up my endurance.  The EXTREME me decides to do this after only being back on my bike for a WEEK, and on my cruiser that only has two good speeds.  When I ride with friends, I most often ride with those who are much more physically fit than I am----MUCH MORE, and I refuse to admit when I am exhausted, and am usually the bozo who says "let's ride one way for an hour, and then turn around and ride an hour back.  Let's also do this when the winds are high."  How about "let's keep going.  I am sure darkness will not set in until we get back."  Probably the most extreme idea I had was to ride the Ladiga Trail in its entirety in one day round trip on my cruiser.  That did not happen, or I might not have lived to tell about it.

An extreme personality needs balance, and I find my balance in the people closest to me.  My husband who looks at me as if I have two heads when I have one of my crazy ideas.  The friend who says "hey, I need to slow down" giving me permission to admit that I need to do the same.  The eating plan that comes along and says "you don't need to be an extreme dieter.  You just need balance."  Balance is what will keep me on my path to wellness.  Whether it is in my eating, or with my exercise, BALANCE is the key to my success.  

Balance may mean that it takes a little longer to reach my goals, but it may also mean that I will become a bit less addictive, a bit more disciplined, and a whole lot happier.

Here are a couple of pictures from one of my rides last week.  We traveled a bit further down the north portion of the trail, and added another friend.